12th May 2014…A hard day

rueye1

Dear diary, God, me and everybody else,

The title doesn’t say it all but it is true it has been a hard day and there is no real reason to why it just was. I guess it is all part of depression that even when you think you have it beat you get a day like the one I have had today. There is no rhyme or reason for it – you just don’t feel quite right and no matter how hard you try to be NORMAL or productive despite how you feel you still feel like there is that familiar grey cloud hovering around you so you can’t quite experience or feel the way you should.

It was a normal Monday and we didn’t have to get up early and the children were good and didn’t cause anything out of the usual to have to deal with but I just went along in my inability to really feel or be present only doing what was necessary and not really living – if you know what I mean. The kids and I got dressed and while they were playing in our room I logged on to see what the world of facebook had to say and surprise surprise not a lot was going on so went looking elsewhere as I knew I needed a lift. So quotes is what I went hunting for and even then I only found and posted a couple on here but it did help a little. Then before the children made too much of a mess of our very chaotic bedroom we all went downstairs.

The day was turning dark and stormy outside so it would be another day that we would have to stay cooped up for.

The day pasted as days like this do with no an awful lot happening but as my training to cope lesson’s have taught me to try even harder on this difficult days to achieve something. I listened to the words I’ve read and have kept telling myself. So after my partner came back and we’d all had lunch I disappeared off upstairs to finish an important form we had to do. Although it took longer than it would have on a NORMAL me day I kept to it until I finished and it did help just like the lesson and mentor had told me it would. I didn’t quite get that feeling I would normal get of achieving something but never the less I did achieve that horrible chore and a not so horrible one. I also sent off all the tokens we have been collecting out of The Sun Newspaper just like we did for our holiday to get two free tickets to go to LEGOLAND in Winsor. My son who is nearly 3 1/2 has been crazing us ever since he knew the place existed. We can thank my lovely sister and her son’s for that, lol. So now we will be able to go at a fraction of the cost in other words we are definitely going, so long as we do get the free tickets of course. I also sent a letter to one of my penfriends and on the way I even managed a laugh or two because I took my son and as it had been raining on and off there were “Big muddy puddles” to walk, run and jump in. That is why I took him and it did help, bless him.

That is as eventful as it got until just now. I came to bed early as it has been hard work all day and I thought a little quiet time to write this and collect my thoughts before I read myself to sleep before midnight would be good and it still will be. My partner came up early and brought with him two parcels that had come in the post for me that no one noticed till he came up to bed. So I have another two books to add to my reading shelf. I know I have more than enough for one year but when you can get a bargin book you get it and you can quote me on that, lol.

Good night and god bless.

Who knows I might catch up with my reviews and finish a book instead of starting a new one. Then again I might not. Keep fighting the good fight.

If not and unlike me you haven’t got a good book to help get you to sleep take this quotes good advice.

quote3

xXx

 

 

 

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